Tuesday, June 15, 2010

People say the darndest things

I don't want this to become the Ann-Podolske-is-dead-now blog, but she is and it's what I'm thinking of a lot of the time, so I can't help writing about it.

Two different people have said to me that they think Ann's death is a true love story. She really died of a broken heart, see. What bullshit. While it's true that Ann and Linda loved each other very much, there is no amount of broken heart that can give a person cancer.

Ann really wanted to live. She said so herself. Obviously, these people just don't know. But even so, I can't imagine saying something so douche-y to people in mourning.

When the first person said it, I was so taken aback, I couldn't say anything. The second one was just today and I responded with perhaps too much vigor. "A broken heart can't give you cancer!" I snapped. And the person sort of stopped talking. And then it was awkward.

I've had days where I've been sad but have been able to keep it together, and then others when I've been a total mess. My colleagues and friends understand and have been great. I guess my main problem is that I've never had a close friend die - or even a friend - and I don't know how to deal with it. A few people have died on my periphery. I've got two dead grandpas who were old and sick. I've considered a few people dead to me. But never this.

I was talking today with a colleague who lost a friend in high school. And while I don't wish I'd lost a friend in high school, if something like that had happened, I might be better prepared for this loss.

But nothing could have prepared me for losing Ann, so there's that.

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Anonymous Cousin Pat said...

I agree...people say stupid stuff all the time. I'm very grateful that you're talking about Ann on your blog. I absolutely love the "We're fine!" story. I think about Ann every day and sometimes become a very unpleasant puddle of tears. Thanks for sharing your memories. Take care and give my best to Scott.

Cousin Pat

July 1, 2010 at 9:17 PM  
Blogger Secrets said...

I've been known to say some really stupid stuff. So I hope I wasnt one of those douche-y people..lol

I think there may be some truth to peoples health declining from stress and depression. It compromises the immune system and opens you up to catching all kinds of diseases.

Maybe thats what they mean when they say she died of a broken heart.

October 30, 2010 at 4:26 PM  

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