Wedding planning = crazy making

Longtime readers of this blog may remember a wedding I was in about seven years ago that I nearly had to bow out of on account of the bride was driving me out of my god-damned mind. She didn't do anything wrong or terrible intentionally, I don't think, but she just seemed thoughtless and rude basically all the time. It imperiled our friendship, surely, and we only became truly friendly again within the last couple years.

I have a certain amount of empathy now that I'm planning my own wedding. Sweet mother of god, it's like they want you to lose your mind. By "they" I mean the wedding industrial complex - which we want nothing to do with. The wedding industrial complex makes it so tricky to plan things your own way that people ultimately break under the pressure and give in and let them do it all - oh, and pay for it all, too.

We are reasonable people. We are not wedding industrial complex people. The problem with not being wedding industrial complex kind of people is that we have to manage every last bit of our wedding - and there are so many bits to decide upon, it's just overwhelming.

For that reason, we convened the first meeting of the Committee to Unite Scott and Jennifer today. On the Committee are two friends who were recently wed and totally did their own thing, and one who has been wed twice. There is so much experience on this team that I think, with their guidance, we'll be able to do it.

Our first goal: Figure out where we can do this thing and set a date. This, frankly, seems to be the hardest part. Because we have to figure out our guest list and how many people we think will be coming, and then find an appropriate venue that will allow us to bring on our own caterer and freestyle the whole thing.

Even after our Committee meeting, I was still feeling overwhelmed, so I called my friend Fernio Iglesias for a consult. She has worked hundreds and hundreds of weddings and had some keen insights and things to consider.

We still don't really know what we're doing, but I think it's important to focus on the most important part: Scott and I are crazy about each other and eager to get hitched and live happily ever after in each others warm embrace. (Barf bags are located in the seat-back pocket in front of you.) No matter what happens, we're going to leave our wedding married to each other. Even if we give up on our crazy ideas (yet to be disclosed because we want it to be a surprise) and go totally crazy and just have a pizza party at the bowling alley (not really all that bad an idea, considering), we're still going to leave married.

I just hope I don't lose my fucking mind in the process.