Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Aging gracefully a la chin hair

I'm turning 34 on Saturday. At the precise moment of my birth, 7:43 p.m., I'll be ushering in my 35th year by enjoying a Prairie Home Companion live from the Koussivetsky Music Shed at Tanglewood in Lenox. PHC is at Tanglewood every year on my birthday weekend, but I'm usually too busy throwing myself a party to go. This year, the party is going to be later in the summer (invitations forthcoming) and I, finding that I had nothing planned for my birthday evening, went and planned something for myself. If you listen to the broadcast, imagine me crying in the audience, because I will surely be crying. Uh oh, I'm getting choked up right now just thinking of it.

You may become jealous when you learn that Martin Sheen and Steve Martin are both on the show Saturday. I'm just saying.

About a year ago or so ago, I noticed that I had a small, black chin hair. I thought it was an errant eyebrow hair, but it didn't brush away. I plucked it instantly. It grew back a few months later. I plucked it again and began a vigilant search for it. Basically, I rub the area of my chin with my thumb in a sweeping motion a couple times a day looking for it. I've been finding it a little more regularly than I was initially, and I'm not all that pleased about it.

About a month ago, I plucked it and it was back in a week. I freaked out a little bit.

One thing about me that I may never have made clear here is that sometimes when I think about shaving my face, I get the anxiety. My great-grandmother shaved with an electric razor every day, and the thought of such a fate fills me with the dread and the full-on anxiety so much so that I have to force myself not to think of it.

The thing is, I realized that it wasn't the same hair. Now I have two chin hairs! Sweet god! The humanity!

On Sunday, I was rubbing my chin, felt a chin hair, moved posthaste to the bathroom mirror, brandished the tweezers and basically stared at my chin. I couldn't see anything. I moved to another mirror and different light. I still couldn't see anything, but damn it if I couldn't feel a wiry little hair. Finally, I trained the tweezers upon it and pulled.

Friends, what I pulled out of my chin was a white chin hair. Oh. My. Fucking. God. It was white. And just a tiny smidgen of the end was black. So my former black chin hair is now white.

This is great, because now it's way harder to see and there's little risk of anyone observing my chin hair with their own eyes. But I'm not sure white chin hair is what I'm ready for at this juncture.

Luckily, I don't have a choice. It's just an extra-special birthday present from my waning hormones to my face.


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Blogger Nancy Natale said...

I love this! Well, Jennifer, there's more of that to come. I have to tell you that I am pretty hairless in general but I do get the dreaded chin hairs and more of them come the older you get. I was plucking them out one by one and got Bonnie to help after they turned not only white, but also very fine and I couldn't see them. The last time I asked her to help, she gave my chin a swipe with her razor. I was shocked because I don't want to start that, God knows. But she said when they get to a certain tipping point, the razor is called for.

My mother is now 92 and her chin looks like a forest of white hair because she is beyond knowing or caring about the chin hair. I am not at that stage yet but I know I am basically seeing my future when I look at her.

Good luck to you, Jennifer.

June 25, 2009 at 5:15 PM  
Blogger pvep-kristen said...

Oh god, Oh god, this has been happening to me for quite a while. So far, it's just one hair that I've found in the same place.

Isn't there some kind of pill I can take to keep this from happening?

June 26, 2009 at 7:23 AM  
Blogger Jennifer Myszkowski said...

My two hairs are right next to each other, so at least I only have to sweep my thumb over one part of my chin. So far.

Nancy, thanks so much for this dose of reality. Is Bonnie the decider for when the razor is called for? If so, I'm glad to have made friends with you guys so early in my life. Maybe she can offer me some kind of surreptitious yearly inspection and can just pass me a razor when she notices it's time.

This is why you have friends, so they can tell you when you have to start shaving your face.

Heaven forfend!

June 26, 2009 at 10:22 AM  
Blogger Nancy Natale said...

By the way, I forgot to wish you a happy birthday, Jennifer! Hope you have fun at the concert.

Yes, Bonnie is just the one you want for the annual inspection. She has an eagle eye and a swift hand. You won't even feel it and that thumbing of your chin will just be a tic.

June 26, 2009 at 11:31 PM  

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