Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Not Amy Ray. The other one.

This afternoon, I was walking down Main Street in Northampton. There were two girls behind me. I'd say they were about 20. One said, "I can't wait until I'm 21, because by then, I'm going to be so hot. And I'm going go to the Dirty Truth every weekend until he sees me."

"I was trying to think about where I could go in town so I could guarantee that he saw me," she continued, "And, like, I couldn't think of where I could go, then I realized, duh, bars."

And the other girl said, "He'll really be sorry when he sees how hot you are."

By this time, we were at the corner of Main and Pleasant. I was crossing over to King, so I was standing at the curb. I sort of stood sideways so I could get a good look at them. The one who will be so hot when she is 21 was kind of skinny and pale and the other one was sort of fat and pimply. They kept talking about how he was going to be SO surprised to see her and and when he saw her, he would just know and blahblahblah she would show him. Then, a silence fell. Not-21 absentmindedly said, "Blahblahblah the Indigo Girls tonight blahblahblah." She was just reading the Calvin marqee. Fact: the Indigo Girls are at the Calvin tonight.

The other one said, "I saw them on the Today show a few days ago and they were so good."

The not-21-year-old said, "Yeah, I really like them. I think they're, like, as good in person as they are on a CD." And then she went on like a not-21-year-old might go on not paying attention to her surroundings at all.

So here they were prattling on like morons, and they have no idea that Emily Saliers is standing right next to them. She was looking at somebody's dog and talking to a woman who I assume was her lady. She had on dark glasses and whatever, but I'm not even that big a fan and I recognized her from her scraggly hair.

In any event, I ended up going over to the courthouse to sit on a bench because I had time to kill. A while later, I watched her walk by with her lady and go behind the Calvin to the tour bus. I'm so glad she had an opportunity to take in the sights and sounds of Northampton. Particularly those two morons.

The thing is, I couldn't remember her name. It was driving me nuts. Until just now when I googled, "Not Amy Ray" and her name came up third.

Incidentally, I've seen the Indigo Girls twice and they didn't do Gallileo either time, so I gave up.

Also, their fans are a walking stereotype. It's almost painful. The courthouse parking lot was swarming with them. One Suburu had a NH vanity plate: PWROF2. It was no surprise to see the khaki-pantsed ladies getting out of that car.

I say that with love.

But I'll tell you what, I can't wait until I'm 34. God, I'm going to be so hot! And I'm going to roll over in bed and accidentally elbow Scott in the head and he's going to wake up and look at me and just know.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Me, I can't wait till I'm 50, because I'm going to be so tepid...

Your post makes me wonder: Does my dykesaurus "style" cause you discomfort, friend? Should I hold off on that next purchase of khakis? See if I can get Linda to sell the Subaru?

Inquiring stereotypes want to know. 8-)

June 20, 2009 at 10:31 AM  
Blogger Jennifer Myszkowski said...

No discomfort at all, friend. I just thought it was hilarious to watch the khaki-pantsed masses swarm the Calvin is all. Stereotypes exist for a reason, sure, but it's weird to see it on parade like that, all at once.

I'll say this about Subaru: In all the auto industry hoopla, we haven't heard a peep out of them re: going under or filing for bankruptcy. They've got all the lesbians to thank, I'll tell you what. Also, the state of Vermont helped as well, but that's a separate story.

June 20, 2009 at 1:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

there was also a car outside the venue that night with a vanity plate that said "AMYMLE". not kidding.

i love the indigo girls. and i don't wear khakis. so not all lesbians fit that stereotype.

July 31, 2009 at 10:34 PM  
Blogger Jennifer Myszkowski said...

Hi, addictedtoamy. The part where you told me that not all lesbians fit into a stereotype makes me think you must be new here. So, welcome. Good to have you. Come again.

August 1, 2009 at 6:03 PM  

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