Craigslist Killer
I hate that this happens to me, but I am just like everyone else in America and I get fascinated by news stories. I've been drawn in by this Craigslist Killer story for a number of reasons.
One of them is that this guy and his lady have been together for four years and were planning a summer wedding. I can't imagine the horror of discovering the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, who you thought couldn't hurt a fly, was secretly a giant moron at serial killing.
Seriously, this guy thinks he's smart enough to be a doctor/serial killer and he doesn't realize that phone records and IP addresses would lead investigators directly to his sorry ass? He may as well have left directions to his apartment with the victims. Give me a fucking break! This guy is supposed to be the best and the brightest? Bah!
Also, the part where he totally snowed his lady gives me the terrors, particularly the part where she's defending him and saying he couldn't hurt a fly while investigators are pulling his victims' underpants out of their apartment. The least he could do is give her some kind of sign so that she doesn't go on Good Morning America and become the pathetic fiancee of the Craigslist Killer.
Also, there's the part where Scott and I met on Craigslist on that fateful day nearly three years ago. I said to him yesterday, "Listen, brother, if you turn out to be a murderer, can you at least do me the favor of telling me so I don't make a total fucking ass of myself on television defending you."
He said, "Don't worry. I will only kill people that I don't meet on Craigslist."
What a sweet relief.
I think this might make it to the stage this weekend.
One of them is that this guy and his lady have been together for four years and were planning a summer wedding. I can't imagine the horror of discovering the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, who you thought couldn't hurt a fly, was secretly a giant moron at serial killing.
Seriously, this guy thinks he's smart enough to be a doctor/serial killer and he doesn't realize that phone records and IP addresses would lead investigators directly to his sorry ass? He may as well have left directions to his apartment with the victims. Give me a fucking break! This guy is supposed to be the best and the brightest? Bah!
Also, the part where he totally snowed his lady gives me the terrors, particularly the part where she's defending him and saying he couldn't hurt a fly while investigators are pulling his victims' underpants out of their apartment. The least he could do is give her some kind of sign so that she doesn't go on Good Morning America and become the pathetic fiancee of the Craigslist Killer.
Also, there's the part where Scott and I met on Craigslist on that fateful day nearly three years ago. I said to him yesterday, "Listen, brother, if you turn out to be a murderer, can you at least do me the favor of telling me so I don't make a total fucking ass of myself on television defending you."
He said, "Don't worry. I will only kill people that I don't meet on Craigslist."
What a sweet relief.
I think this might make it to the stage this weekend.
Labels: comedy, craigslist, death, the Count
posted by Jennifer Myszkowski at
9:36 PM
4 Comments:
The count is hilarious. :-)
I've had a fascination with that story too. I feel guilty every time I get sucked in by a new headline. I truly feel sorry for his fiance and wish the media would leave her alone. I'm forcing myself to stop reading the stories. Unless, of course, if he follows through with suicide. OK, guilty. Must stop.
I think its hilarious that you aren't outraged by his robbing/killing, just his stupidity in getting caught. That's the problem with America. Everything is half-assed.
jbo
Honestly, I am a little outraged/disgusted that people think that they can rob hookers because they won't tell. I'm also outraged that he is totally fine with violence against women (seems to be his MO from gossipy internet reports). But it's not as funny as outrage over his being a fucking moron.
Seriously, this is America. It took them like 30 years to find the Unibomber. They didn't find BTK until he turned himself in! And this guy eludes police for six days - and he still gets a nickname? Give me a fucking break!
I'm trying this on the stage tonight. I'll let you know how it goes.
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