A new spin on an old favorite

I just got a hilarious spam e-mail, which I've pasted below for your pleasure. It's hilarious, particularly considering that you can't swing a cat without knocking into a Myszkowski -- especially in the midwestern United States and in Poland. Seriously.

From: James Newman
Imperial Finance Limited, UK
Tel: +44-762-4172620
Fax: +44-845-2800544

Dear Jennifer Myszkowski,

I am Mr. James Newman, the Auditor General, Imperial Finance Limited UK . In the course of my auditing, I discovered a floating fund in an account, which was opened in 1990 belonging to a dead foreigner Late Mr. K. P. Myszkowski who died in 1999. Every effort made to track any member of his family or next of kin has since failed; hence I got in contact with you to stand as his next of kin since you bear the same last name. He died leaving no heir or a will.

My intention is to transfer this sum of US$15.5Million in the aforementioned account to a safe account overseas. I am therefore proposing that you quietly partner with me and provide an account or set up a new one that will serve the purpose of receiving this fund. For your assistance in this venture, I am ready to part with a good percentage of the entire funds. After going through the deceased person's records and files, I discovered that:

(1) No one has operated this account since 1999
(2) He died without an heir; hence the money has been floating.
(3) No other person knows about this account and there was no known
beneficiary.

If I do not remit this money urgently, it would be forfeited and subsequently converted to company's funds, which will benefit only the directors of my firm. This money can be approved to you legally as with all the necessary documentary approvals in your name. However, you would be required to show some proof of claim, which I will provide you with and also guide you on how to make your applications.

Please do give me a reply so that I can send you detailed information on the modalities of my proposition. I completely trust you to keep this proposition absolutely confidential. If you are interested, Kindly forward Your telephone and fax numbers where I can reach you easily. I look forward to your prompt response.

Best Regards,
Mr. James Newman

This one is particularly interesting since the person isn't from sub-Saharan Africa and has my last name. So, in theory, I might be intrigued. But here's where I know it's bunk: Have you ever known a board of directors that wasn't interested in sucking up as much money as possible? Dude, I work in corporate America. Hell if I'm going to fall for that line of cock and bull.

Although I'll say this: $15.5 million would certainly improve things around here.