Saturday, November 17, 2007

The question on everyone's mind: What's going on with your feet, Jennifer?

Thanks for asking. Well, I think we've had an actual breakthrough. It could be a fluke, but I think it might be for realz.

My massage therapist, Cassie at Abundant Wellness, started scraping the hell out of the bottom of my feet with a Chinese soup spoon. Not with the bowl of the spoon, but with the hard edge of it. I have never known pain like this before. Even when Cassie gave me hell of painful massages before, I didn't know it could be like this. Seriously, it's the worst ever. My feet have jumped away from her - recoiled in fear, if you will - and she's had to hold them down. I have had no control of the movements of my feet.

But here's the craziest part: all of a sudden I can move my feet better than I have in more than a year. After crying from the pain, I was crying from the joy of it. I think this new method is just the thing to whip me into shape.

I just want to make an announcement: I will get over this Plantar Fasciitis. I'm not joking. It's my first order of business right now. I want - nay, demand - a full recovery in short order and I will not stop until I have it in my hand (foot). I intend to be most of the way better by Jan. 1 and all the way better by the end of the first quarter.

First quarter? Look who's been working at Big Company a little too long.

Who cares. By the end of March, I'm going to be 100% and I'm not fucking around about it.

Thank you for your kind support in this and many other matters.



Blogger Nancy Natale said...

Hi Jennifer - I'm the "lady" who spoke to you about your feet at the Girls, girls, girls last year and told you about the foot guy on King St. Anyway...I know exactly what you mean about the chinese soup spoon because I used to go to an acupuncturist who used it on the back of my neck and shoulders which always killed. It really does work although it's so painful because it draws the blood in and opens up all those pathways or something. Good luck to you and I hope the improvement continues. Something's got to give sometime!!! By the way, when is the next G,G,G? I loved seeing the centerfold of Boney (alias Kim) in a little free paper that was delivered to my house. I tuned in to her radio program. She should do a bit about the difference in her voice on the air and in standup. What a contrast!

November 20, 2007 at 3:20 PM  

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